Progress Reports

Yesterday I spent almost the entire day in parent-teacher interviews.  Last week the progress reports were issued.  I was not looking forward to these meetings.  In the past I have had both good and bad experiences with parent-teacher interviews but on the whole, I do not enjoy them.

The worst parent-teacher interview I ever had was back in Brampton Ontario with Rylan's grade 1 teacher.  Rylan was just beginning his first year of French immersion.  He had been in grade 1 for about 2 months at the time of the interview.  His teacher was new to the school and a fairly new teacher overall.  It's hard to remember exactly what she said, but it was all negative.  She conveyed such a low opinion of Rylan and had such poor social skills that I left the interview in shock.  I ran into my neighbour at the school and actually started crying.  Those who know me, know that I am not an emotional person, and I very rarely cry in public.  I was so angry and frustrated I even wrote the principal a letter the next day so that he could address my concerns with the teacher.  If she could make me feel so terrible in 15min, what must the children in her class be feeling as they interact with her every day?   A few days latter, Rylan's teacher called me and apologized.  I think that she genuinely changed after that incident, and as I suspected I was not the only parent to complain :)

That being said, I went to 6 parent-teacher interviews yesterday and they were all positive.  Overall I am happy with the teachers at the American School in Barcelona and their feedback.  I met with Nathan's math, science and social studies teachers.  He is still doing very well, teacher's love Nathan because he is such a hard worker and nice person.

Ciara's grades are pretty mediocre, but with Ciara, I have stopped caring about her grades.  I just want her to enjoy learning, complete the work she needs to do and be happy with herself.  I don't want to get caught up in every evaluation.  It's actually very difficult for me, because I want her to get good grades, but as I learned through homeschooling, in the end her wellbeing is more important than good grades.

Rylan has always had his problems at school.  He is an active kid, his mind is always busy and so he can easily become distracted.  Rylan is probably our most naturally intelligent child, but he wants everything to come easy and when it doesn't, he gets frustrated.  In November last year, his teacher wanted us to have him tested for ADHD.  I was dreading this assessment, but knowing that it is so common these days, I was not all that surprised.  I avoided taking Rylan for outside testing hoping that his ability to focus in class would improve over time.  But his grade 3 teacher, and the school counsellor kept insisting we should do it.   Finally, feeling the pressure to provide the school with an official diagnosis, I took Rylan to see the neuro-pediatrician they recommended in September to be tested.

One pre-assessment, 3 rounds of testing, one results debrief, 530€ ($753) later and we really didn't find out anything new.  Rylan tested normal on all of their tests, but in the end the neuro-pediatrician recommended that we put him on Concertin, which is a dopamine enhancer.  The basis for his ADHD diagnosis were the observations of his 3rd grade teacher and the questionnaire he filled out last Spring.   Bob and I were both not convinced that drugs were necessary so we decided to wait to talk with his 4th grade teacher before we filled out any prescriptions.

So I was a little surprised when Rylan's teacher had nothing bad to say about Rylan's behavior in class or his overall academic performance.  She told me that Rylan did not raise any concerns for her. Sometimes he was reluctant to participate and took a bit longer to finish his work, but nothing out of the ordinary.   He stays on task, does not disrupt, is respectful of others and (to my great shock) she said that he has the tidiest desk in his class!!!

We are going to hold off on the ADHD drugs for awhile longer.  We did learn some valuable lessons though: a teacher's opinion of your child is subjective and you have to consider it carefully, but not trust it completely.   Maybe getting Rylan tested was a waste of time and money, but I was also reluctant to get Ciara tested for learning disabilities and in her case it turned out to be a very helpful.  So the other lesson we learned is that: you just don't know.  Children are a great mystery, and every day we discover something new.  It's fun, challenging, scary and always an adventure!